Self-Defense (Xbox 360, 2011)

Self-Defense for Xbox 360 isn’t your typical fitness game — it’s a motion-controlled boot camp that wants to turn your living room into a dojo of rage. Developed by Ubisoft in 2011, this Kinect-based title mixes real-world martial-arts techniques with surprisingly solid coaching, all while judging your flailing arms like a disappointed sensei. Think Wii Fit, but angrier and with less smiling.

The game drops you into realistic training scenarios, teaching you how to block, dodge, and counter like you actually plan to use it next time someone cuts you off in traffic. The Kinect tracks every jab, kick, and awkward shuffle, grading your form as you punch invisible enemies and sweat through your Sunday clothes. And yes, you’ll absolutely question your life choices halfway through a cardio-heavy “street encounter.”

While the graphics won’t win any awards, the instructors have enough intensity to make you sit up straight and maybe even learn something useful. It’s equal parts workout, self-confidence builder, and unintentional comedy routine every time Kinect decides your flawless uppercut didn’t count.

If you’ve ever wanted a fitness game that punches back (metaphorically), this is your jam. Whether you’re serious about self-defense or just need an excuse to yell at your TV, Self-Defense is ready to train you in the fine art of not getting wrecked. Buy retro games on Retro Games eXchange and relive the days when your Xbox tried to make you healthier… by making you mad.